dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
