U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
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Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
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is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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