i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
