There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
