Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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