he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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