Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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