Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
