JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
