so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
