Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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