Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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