i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
