a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
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I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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