don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
