It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I wish i was in the wii world.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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