The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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