this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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