i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
