what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
as a side note pls kill me
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
