i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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