I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There r osticjed everywhere
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
