Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
