hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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