and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize