his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
