I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
