I could have mohawked her pubes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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