you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
