you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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