Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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