remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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