Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
