You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
