Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
