she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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