hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
