About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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