Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
