So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
