Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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