there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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