Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Found your dick twin last night
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
