I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize