I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
