hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
