I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
