I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
