my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
