Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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