You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
