By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
