I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize