so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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