Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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