when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
