how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Hippo gnu deer
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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