I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
