people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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