ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
