thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
