just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So vagazzling was a success
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
