hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
