You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
