apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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