He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
